Tuesday, March 31, 2009

FAIL.

When I was applying to colleges in high school, I was accepted to every college that I sent an application.

Yes you read that sentence right.

And all I can think about is that reject letter.

You know the one that reads...

Dear Mrs. T.

We are sorry to inform you that yes you do suck at life. You don't have to worry about that being a real issue or not any further at this time. Thank you.

Looooooooove,
The University of ____________


I realize that this is not realistic by any means. They are a lot nicer when they let you down or so I hear.

I guess I just am feeling sorry for myself more than anything.

I haven't heard anything yet on the law school front and I am starting to get a little...whiney. Okay I admit it. I am being a big whiner.

A reallllllllllllllllly BIG WHINER.

But this is something that I have wanted for a long time. And the thought of failure does not appeal to me in the slightest.

I really hope I don't sound calloused at all. Believe me inside I am a bundle of nerves.

But I really don't want that rejection letter.

Really.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I married a momma's boy y'all.

Now let me start off by saying that this is not the post where I complain about my MIL being a meanie. She and I have a good relationship. I think this post is just coming about because I don't feel all that well.

Nope this is the one where I talk about how he leaves things around the house.

I am talking about things in the sense of trash.

I admit that I am not the shining example of Mrs. Suzy Homemaker. I hate and I mean HATE to clean.

BUT...I make an effort.

When we first moved into our shack...errr...I mean house, I arranged everything exactly as I wanted it. I am not a clean freak, but I do my best to maintain. When I am finished with something I put it where it belongs in its next step of life. For example, a dish goes in the sink for Brandon to wash.

And a piece of trash goes in the trash can. It can hang all night, but when you go to bed, put it in the trash. I do not want to feel like I woke up at a frat house the next morning.

I want to know how he thought this was okay to leave it.

Actually I KNOW how this happened. His momma went around at night before SHE went to bed and cleaned up after him.

I love this woman. She raised an excellent son, but she has ruined him until we have kids/dogs.

He is better on some days and then we make no progress for weeks.

Seriously, all I am asking for is to make cleaning up a little bit easier.

Oh well, maybe God will hear my prayers and give us girls so we can get rid of that toilet seat up issue.


Sunday, March 29, 2009

waiting for the promised land...

I don't know if I have mentioned this before or not...but I do not wait well. I may come across as a patient person on occasion.

However it's all lies.

I am quiet when I wait because otherwise I'd be very vocal. And by vocal I mean screaming my head off.

I am so tired of waiting to know about law school. Brandon and I are literally stuck where we are because we have to wait for the answer. This whole waiting thing is really getting to me.

Everyone else seems to be moving forward...and I am just sitting here.

I really wish we knew what our plan looked like at this point. Instead we're just chillin.

And to top it all off I have read everything in our house. So I don't even have something to distract me from my pity party.

GARSH.

Friday, March 27, 2009

these are a few of my favorite things: snail mail

I haven't made a post about my favorite things in life recently. It's not that I haven't had a reason to do so...I just haven't remembered to do it.

As you know it's been a little rough these past few days. But today when I got home, I had found that I had received a package from the lovely Kathy O. And it was two mixed cds.

They are amazing.
Besides the fact that it is music of my junior high and some high school years, it's just really nice to receive snail mail. Snail mail says, "I care about you enough to take time out of my day to write your address and take it to the mail box."

It is personal.

And I stinkin love it.

Thanks Kathy for the cd's. They are fabulous honey.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

when the music fades...

In my family I have many roles. One of them is the "class clown." This roles over into my job too. I am happy on a regular basis and when someone is down I am the one people call. For the most part I love this job.

But sometimes a clown can get down.

I talked about this a little earlier this month. And it was about not having friends. For the most part I have put myself out there on more than one occasion only to be burned.

This clown has been burned a lot. If the State were to enter an exhibit A you would see a picture of me with burn marks.

Now let me say this first. This is not a pity party. I repeat, this is not a pity party. And I also need to say that I am not talking about college friends. I have friends from college that pretty much taught me everything I know.

And I have tried everything in the book. I am as genuine as they come.

Well today it finally came crashing down at approximately 4:07pm today.

I am really stressed about so many things in life.

Law school.
Work.
Family.
Money.
The American Federal Government.

And I just started to cry. I just had one of those moments where I needed to have a good cry. Well that is all good and well, but seriously WHY DID IT HAVE TO HAPPEN AT WORK?!?!

I am a pretty emotional person, but when it comes to work, I try to be as professional as they come.

As you can imagine I was less than pleased to be crying. But the harder I tried to hold it back, the faster the tears came out. So here I am trying to look natural while entering data into the computer and praying like hell that no one would come through the front door. Well no one came through the front door, but everyone in the office basically came to see me.

They just wanted to talk and see how my day was going.

I looked like an absolute train wreck.

And they all wigged out.

I have only cried once before at work and it was because I made a mistake and the guy proceeded to chew me out for being wrong. I had apologized to him but apparently he felt like he needed to chew me out. This was some random guy off the street. So when I am crying and no one is around I guess they were a little freaked.

I want to repeat again that I don't want a pity party. I just wanted someone to hear me. But I wanted to have them hear me on my own time.

God clearly had other ideas.

So I just sat there and cried and entered data into the computer.

I don't even know what I cried about...but I just needed a good cry.

God made sure that I got one.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wednesday is "the Chiropractor" Day

Guess who???

Hee hee.

I am more than giddy right now because I am writing to you from my new computer!

Ladies and ladies, I am 24 and I am a PC.

But let's get down to business.


According to our little buddy Wikipedia...


Chiropractic is a health care approach and profession that emphasizes diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mechanical disorders of the musculoskeletal system, especially the spine, under the hypothesis that these disorders affect general health via the nervous system.[1] It is generally considered to be complementary and alternative medicine,[2] a characterization that many chiropractors reject.[3] The main treatment involves manual therapy including manipulation of the spine, other joints, and soft tissue; treatment also includes exercises and health and lifestyle counseling.[4] Traditionally, chiropractic assumes that a vertebral subluxation or spinal joint dysfunction interferes with the body's function and its innate intelligence,[5] a notion that brings ridicule from mainstream science and medicine.

That's the straight forward approach educationally speaking.

Here's my version.

I first had some acupuncture (no needles otherwise I wouldn't have made it.) Then I went on the roller bed. This thing is amazing. I will definitely be moving up from a four at some point.

Then came the part where he adjusted my back. He told me, "now if you've ever heard your knuckles pop that is what it is going to sound like. Don't worry it might be a bit of a shock, but don't worry because it is just gas."

JUST GAS????

I seriously was afraid that this man was about to adjust my back and we were going to experience a huge fart. Don't get me wrong, I knew scientifically that he meant there was going to be a lot of popping sounds made. But he had to throw the word gas in there and my all to ridiculous panic worry wart mode set in faster than Elisabeth Hassleback can suggest the Republicans have a plan for the economy on the View.

Thankfully there was no stench but there was a lot of popping. I mean a LOT of popping. It felt like 45-50 pops at least.

Then he said, "Okay, we'll do the left side now."

Seriously!!

I moved from my stomach to my back then to my side and finally sat up straight. Or if we speaking in popping counts, one might say 14 bagsof popcorn later, I was finished.

He gave me the run down and I am a phase 2 of 4. You want to be a one or better. My right leg is also longer than the left one. Yeah that is a whole other post waiting to happen.

I am beginning to feel a little sore, but am told I will have a wonderful night of sleep tonight.

I had better. I mean hello, I thought I was going to flatulate and that can't be good.

Happy Wednesday!

Monday, March 23, 2009

for the little engines that could everywhere

For sometime now I have been following blogs that are written by mommies. I know I am not exactly the poster child for wanting children soon. I think this is because I do not have the natural gift of being with children. My mom says that this will come when I have my own.

But I'm getting sidetracked.

I especially love to read McKMama and Kelly's Korner. I love to read how God is still doing miracles in this world and both of these women have been blessed by God's unending love and grace. I know Jesus is there, but to have the physical reminder that He is the Great Healer is amazing too.

Well, little Mr. Stellan is the smallest baby that belongs to Mckmama and he is currently in the hospital with SVT. Things are a little rough for them right now and they need your prayers. I do not know what it is like to have a little one so sick, but my heart is hurting for them still.


"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." II Corinthians 4:17

shackin' it up

Yesterday we had lunch at my parent's house after church because my sister was heading back to Norman. We abide by the whoever takes the first bite rule when it comes to prayer before meals. My brother happened to commit the crime and this was his prayer.

"Dear God, thank you for this delicious food we're going to eat today. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful family that loves me so much. Thank you for being you God and for allowing us to worship you this morning. Thank you for providing for us always. In Jesus name, Amen."

Will is 12 and has a huge heart. Some day he is going to make one girl very happy. For now he makes his big sister happy with such a sincere prayer. May we all remember to make our prayers sincere and simple like his.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Sunday blues

well another week is about to begin. It's going to be extremely busy and I hope that I am super productive.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

KFC, how I hate thee...

I thought it might be time to update the ol' blog as I haven't been regular on anything except my Wednesday posts. This post is going to be really random so get ready.

  • I bought Twilight (the special edition) today. I've watched it twice and the special features cd once.
  • I went to the dermatologist this week. I have rosacea and I am now a regular face-washer. I can tell a difference already.
  • Just so Jessi knows, I am not pregnant. Ha! In the first months of our marriage I would call Jessi every month and tell her that I wasn't pregnant and that she wasn't going to be an auntie any time soon. Since she reads my blog regularly, I thought she might enjoy this one.
  • I am watching a lot of tv these days to keep my mind busy now that I have sent off my applications for law school. My shows include Brothers and Sisters, Gossip Girl, Dancing with the Stars, Castle, Real Housewives of NYC, Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. And every day when I get home from work I immediately watch the View.
  • I let my hair naturally dry today. I put a little bit of product in it, scrunched and felt like a complete nature girl. It totally took me back to my camp days except I didn't know what Chacos were then.
  • Going back to that whole dermatologist thing for a minute. I want to go tanning, but don't know how I'm going to explain that one to my doctor. Tanning in the spring always makes me feel better and it helps me boost up for the soon to be warm season. Thoughts?
  • Facebook is extremely ridiculous for its new layout. I do not get on it as regularly because of it.
  • My chi is broken and I seriously hate it.
  • I am going to have my rings sautered.
  • We're still reading "The Shack" and I like it a lot.
  • We saw a "pugzu" today and it made me sad because we can't have a pet. I am ready to move if only for the fact that I can have a dog.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Wednesday is "Necklaces" Day.

When I was in high school, I wore a necklace with a cross and a small football on it. I wore the cross from my sophomore year on and then my senior night for being a trainer my mom gave me the football. I knew by the end of the season that I had been accepted to OU and when I got that football, it made it all the more special because as we all know, I love me some OU football. I also had received a dashboard cover from my grandpa with the OU Sooners logo put on it...it might have had my name on it too. If you have been in my car at any point you've seen it.

Somewhere during my freshman year I stopped wearing that necklace. It wasn't because I didn't like it, I just felt like I have moved beyond it. Ha...whatever that means. I also wasn't at my strongest in my relationship with God at that point either and wearing the football by itself seemed silly. So I took it off. I think I thought I was too cool or something.

My sophomore year I joined Phi Lamb and upon becoming a member, I received my drop. I wore that necklace from then on through the first year of my year and a half as a senior. Then one day like the football necklace, I just didn't want to wear it anymore.

I can't find either one of those necklaces.

And I wish I knew where they were.

They are a part of who I am in a weird way.

I have a new necklace from Brandon's grannie. It has the weights of justice on it. She got all the girls a necklace with a charm on it three Christmases ago and I was so touched that she had picked this for me.

I haven't worn it yet. I think...actually I know I am holding out until I find out if I am accepted.

I'm not sure why I chose to write about this. But it is still educational as you found out something about me. Hope you're having a merry day.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Spring Fever...

This is Spring Break...and I am stuck in an office. Don't get me wrong I am grateful for job stability in this time of recession, but I would love to be out in the spring air doing something.

Of course to do something would require that I have money to spend. And I do not.
This is something that I have been convicted of recently. I am working on being content with what I have. You can ask my family. Some days are definitely better than others.

Today is what we like to call a bad day.

I am going to go home tonight and clean out a room in my house. Now part of this cleaning process is reorganizing things. the other part is that I'd like to bring in my books to put in the extra room. Well you have to have shelving in order to complete this task. This is where the money part comes into play. Thankfully B and I have some coffee tables from my parents coming soon so that will help in the remodel so to speak of our living room. But it doesn't help as far as the shelving issue is concerned. We'll see what I can come up with to solve this problem.

Geez.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Oh that Vinny...

I don't know if I have mentioned any of my celebrity crushes before on here. I decided that today would be a good day.

I think Vince Vaughn is a sweetie. He's the boy that makes you feel like you're the only girl in the room while still feeling like you have to fight for his attention. When he talks to you,he has your complete attention. And if Brandon's life story were to come to the screen I'd want him to play the part.

Oh Vinny...he's so dreamy.

Sigh.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Wednesday is "new computer" Day.

I've been wishin' and hopin' and prayin' for a new computer. I casually mention this new computer to the husby on quite the regular basis. And I am pleased to announce that he has relented. I will be the new owner of a new computer very soon.

Also I am getting my hair did on Saturday and I need hair cut ideas. I want a bob that hits just below my shoulders, but need a good picture.

HELP. Yes today's educational post is a plea for help...help for my hair that is.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Foggy Mountain Breakdown

Okay so this post really isn't about that song, but it sure is fun to say. Today's post is about my weekend. I had the opportunity to spend the weekend with the women of Sigma Phi Lambda Sisters for the Lord at Falls Creek Oklahoma. I was graciously asked to speak by the Chaplain Traci Coffman. She is doing a wonderful job as such.

The theme was Back to the Future and there is one serious t-shirt headed my way...Delorian included.

It made me miss Phi Lamb in some serious ways. To have the ability to fellowship with other Christian women on a regular basis is something that is very hard to do in my hometown.

When I left the Quah, I left without a single girlfriend to my name for the most part. I had no friends in fact except for the guys that came to the OKC area. I was mad about most people back from my hometown and did everything possible to avoid dealing with it in every shape and form. I joined Phi Lamb officially my sophomore year of college and stayed active throughout the remainder of my time at OU. It was the best organization that I was a part of without a doubt. I met so many girls that taught me how to have a good friendship and what it meant and means to be a good friend. Eventually we graduated and moved on to our separate ways. I am very happy for and proud of my friends because most are living out their dream/destiny.

I however am still waiting to know what my next step in life is going to be. Brandon and I decided to move back to Small Town, Oklahoma so that Brandon could have a chance to graduate college. He is doing very well and now spends his time wishing he was done with college. I am still waiting to hear back about law school and working at the same time.

In the past year we have yet to make any solid friendships in Small Town, Oklahoma. Part of the problem is that we make friends with couples now...not just one person. And don't get me wrong, we both like each other's friends from college, but being married is different. Well let me say that being married and being back in Small Town, Oklahoma is different. If you had asked me what I would be doing after I graduated college, being in Small Town, Oklahoma would not have been an option. In fact, I didn't even consider it until my job offer came. I had always planned in the back of my mind that I would just be visiting Small Town, Oklahoma for the rest of my life. I NEVER and I mean NEVER planned to live here even if only for a short time.

Okay so that is struggle one. For the most part it is still a major struggle because I do not want anything to do with those people from high school. In fact, on several occasions I have jumped into aisles at Wal-Mart to avoid people that made my life a living hell. And these people seem to be my only option. I am tired of putting myself out there at church too and investing in people only to receive nothing in return. I only go so far before my "give a dang" is busted. (Yes that is a JoDee Messina song and yes she says a different word.)

I am tired of waiting for the next step in my life and have told God this on several occasions.

This weekend one of the other former Chaplains challenged us to lay our entire body on the altar. If we had something that was holding us back, we needed to reconcile ourselves with God about that issue. For the past year I have questioned off and on as to whether I should actually attend law school. I have always known that I should be part of public service. In fact, I feel that I have been called by God to public service. But there is this spot in the very back part of my brain that I let come out on occasion that lets me consider teaching.

So this weekend, I have let God have my plans. This is a very big deal. I know that God has big plans for me and whatever they are, He will roll out when He delivers them. The reason that I am posting on here is because I want some major accountability so when it comes time to make decisions.

So struggle #2 is discerning what God's plan for my life is going to be. I'd really like everything paid for when it comes to law school. In fact, that is one of the only ways that we'd be able to come close to handling it. If teaching is the way to go, then there need to be some serious doors opened to change my mind. PLEASE keep me accountable and PLEASE pray for us. I think that God is about to shake up our world one way or the other.

I suppose that is all for now. Hope you're having a good day.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Wednesday is "shady and sketchy" Day.

shady: illegitimate. underhanded. dishonorable. corrupt. sneaky. (adj.)

I thought in today's weekly post I would address the definition of what it means to be shady. This word can be used in a number of ways in a sentence.

For example, "Ramona didn't invite me to her dinner party. I thought we were friends. That's shady," said Jill.


Another word that might be used instead of shady is sketchy.

sketchy: iffy. questionable.

Ramona said, "I refuse to hang out with Alex and Simon any more. They are sketchy people. I do not believe that they are for real."

I hope you enjoy today's post and please know that I promise to be less sketchy in the future on my regular blog posting patterns. Life is really busy and I am almost finished with the law school application process.



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Hi y'all! The name's Samantha. You can call me Sam if you like. I am a lover to a boy I met at Falls Creek in the summer of 2005, that is a student of Jesus, a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead, Democrat by party, blonde to the core, and oldies but goodies kind of girl.
The Ruby Turtle Hippie Times
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