Here's my point, sometimes when a parent loses a child, they want to talk. Sometimes, they don't.
For me, my personal rules so far for this situation seem to be as follows. If I want to talk then, I will respond. If I don't, then I won't. Most of the time, I don't need to be asked, I will just start talking. But if I don't answer THE question, then just go along with it. I know people care, and believe me I appreciate it, but I don't want to talk about how things are in public. I cry when I talk and I prefer not to do that. Further, telling me things like "God won't give you anything you can't handle" are rude and frankly, not biblical. So please don't say it. Honestly, when I respond, just listening to me is all I want you to do.
More simply said, Ask and then listen.